(Source: fontelitist)
“I only went to the bathroom! I wasn’t gone even two minutes and I come back to see you vibrating and holding a squirming puppy in your coat! Vibrating? Forget I even said it. You. Were. Bouncing. They threatend to call the police Sherlock! They had the phone out and everything. Could you imagine the rumours that would be flying around the yard? Of course you could! No. Just keep that ridiculous smile plastered on your face. I can’t guarantee your continued existance if you start talking. Yes, humming is fine. God forbid you bloody well explode. You’d enjoy antagonising the lackeys, and doubtlessly fall into a sulk when you get booted out and eat the pavement in the process. Bloody hell Sherlock! What are we going to do with a pomeranian?” John’s chest was heaving and his eyes darted about, always returning to the lanky form of the consulting detective in front of him, as if fearing the wait staff from the restaraunt would appear with another shot of caffiene and a puppy in tow.
“In my defence John-“
“No. No defence. Yes the sign says children left unnattended, but your behavious certainly more than qualifies you wanker!”
“…”
“Sherlock, I have known you three years and I have never heard you giggle like that. Stop-Just stop. You made that little boy cry just now. I might do the same. Her mother gave me a very evil eye, what am I? Your bloody keeper!?”
“I wasn’t that bad! I was merely aiding that woman in her pursuit of happiness!”
“Sherlock. Her pursuit of happiness as you so aptly put it, was discovering how many napkins she could slick with honey and sugar water and stick to the ceiling. And she was five.”
“Clearly a mind beyond her years.”
“…”
Okay, so alcohol impairs musical ability. Noted. Pictures of people impaired by alcohol cause shortness of breathe and aching sides. Also noted.
That glorious moment you put on a comfy sweater and realize that it magically smells like lavender.
(Source: thelegendofloki)
“He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so wild – long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of trash can lids, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins.”
